Anyone who knows me, knows that I can be rather contrary in the way I look at things. I am sure it is some sort of psychological abnormality on my part but none the less I still am one to try and look at things differently from the "party line."
I guess that means I am not a good member of any belief system, because I question all belief systems. It is just the way I am.
It isn't as if I go out everyday with that in mind, as if to say, "This is how I am so I am going to think that way about everything, but rather what I have now realized has been my way of thinking since birth quite by accident.
One area that has caused me great vexation over the years is the way church and Christianity are used in the world. Having grown up under the psychological terror of the Southern Baptist Convention hidden by the face of kindness in my parents and the entire church community, I realize that while the values taught within its doctrine are sound they are often very damaging when taken too far.
While I see the logic in making sure the membership is constantly held accountable for how it lives their lives, I feel that there is way too much stress on becoming a perfect Christian and the cult of condemnation that is passively taught to the membership. Inside the workings of a church community there is a judgement going on about the others in the community. While this practice doesn't reach the obvious levels like the cult of Scientology, it is still the same sort of pressure.
Are you a good enough Christian? Why not? If you don't do this, this, this, and that, and do do this, this, this, and that, then you are a bad person.
Yes, the path to heaven is as small as an eye of a needle, but isn't part of the vanity of feigning a sinless life itself a worldly goal? Is threading the needle even about that?
When I accepted Christ back in 1969, the pastor came over to our apartment, I am sure shocked at how we were living at the time, and talked to me personally to make sure that I knew what I was doing in becoming a Christian and to be baptized. He used a simple metaphor to describe what it meant to become a Christian, and to this day I think he had it right.
He pulled out a penny from his pocket and asked, "Do you believe that I will give you this penny?"
I thought it a rather strange question and my mind started doing the mathematical dance trying to find the correct answer to that provocative question. I mean, it was just a penny. But is there a trick here? If I say yes does that mean I am greedy? If I say no does that mean I am doubting and don't have faith? I didn't really understand the goal of the exercise and saw it as a test of sorts.
I asked him about the question. I'll never forget the look on his face. He said something like, "You really do understand don't you? Life is about choices and reasons for choosing. We must make choices in life, but more important than the choices we make are the reasons for the choices we make. No, it isn't a trick question to see if you are greedy. It is a question of faith; 'Do you believe that I will give you this penny?"
I answered yes.
He said, "Yes, I will." He gave me the penny and we taped it to an envelope which I still have today.
He said, "You see, faith that God, Jesus the Son of God, will give you eternal peace and salvation when you have faith in Him."
What I took from this was not that faith is a quid pro quo. On the contrary, faith itself gives you peace. How many times did Jesus say, "I haven't healed you, your faith has done that."
There is no worldly proof of faith, only a spiritual proof between you and God. Only He knows and you know what your faith is. Nobody else can give you that, not even the preacher.
Humans love to complicate things. The church is no different. Throughout time, humans have been sitting around writing on scrolls, books, blogs, and every other medium to try and figure out what true spirituality is and who is spiritual and who isn't.
The mega question of if you have earned your way to heaven is often asked and we as humans judge one another either actively or passively, in one way or the other. We have a proud sense of "Right and Wrong." These are the "Rules" and you have to live by them. When in reality the only person we have any control over is ourselves, and that by focusing on our own spiritual purity is much more compelling than finding fault in the spiritual impurity of others.
I am really fortunate. I was brought up in a Christian household where one is taught the general rules of life, the Ten Commandments. Not a long list at all. But, it is wrong to assume everyone on earth, or even in your own town was taught these things as a child. Not every child has had a Doctor of Divinity, a long term Pastor of a large church, come to their bedside and have a personal conversation with you as an adult.
The number of children brought up in this world without ever hearing about any of this stuff is to me mind blowing, when my entire childhood was dominated by it. Considering that, how can I expect any of those lost in darkness to ever act differently?
So, when I go to church and all the pastor talks about is whether those who are sitting in front of them are good enough Christians or not sort of makes me wonder whether they understand what it is to be a pastor at all. The people sitting in church KNOW already. Yes, vigilant reminders aren't bad, but the entire point of the church is not to keep check on its members, but to open the doors to those in darkness so that they may understand the spiritual peace that should come with a walk in the faith.
People are raised assuming the way they live is right. When you go around condemning people and expect them to willingly walk into your church the response is not going to be very good. If shaming people is used as a way to get people to repent, then guilt is driving them, not love, not compassion, and certainly not faith.
Churches bark up the wrong tree almost constantly. They bark at the Christian squirrel who they chased up the tree and believe that by barking at them they will come back down and behave. This isn't a faith based religion, it is a cult trying to make people to conform, not a true faith which trying to build the spiritual strength of people.
Jesus said, "I didn't come to destroy the law, but to fulfill it." What He means by that is that when you lead a faith based life you don't have to worry about rules, you do the right thing for the right reasons.
I believe the greatest testimony is the silent testimony, where how you treat others and live your daily life is a beacon for those searching for a peaceful way of living.
Do not assume that everyone has this as a goal, because they don't. Some people don't even realize it exists. Too many people in our society believe in money, greed, and power and they are in a life long quest for those things so they can be seen in the world as successful.
What I have learned from all of this is that we can only pursue the daily path of faith as best we can. If that is the goal, then the path is right. But, only we know if we are on that path, and we can't really cause someone else to take it. We can only be a light on a hill.