Too many things in my head…

I have a lot of things that need doing.

Some of it are things that I want to do.

Some of the things I have to do.

Some of the things I need to do.

There is a difference between each of these categories.

The thing I want to do is to go on an extended trip/vacation because I have a bad case of cabin fever right now. I wonder if I can even go on a vacation.

What is a real vacation?

A real vacation is an extended period of time, two weeks +,  spent in a place or places that  removes you from your environment, from your mind, from your stresses and recharges your batteries and clears your soul. It isn’t only going to the beach it is going to the beach and swimming in the ocean, running on the beach, going for a sail.

Dancing, breathing, getting out and seeing new and different things and meeting new and different people.

A vacation is not visiting people. That is a different type of travel and obviously well worth doing but a vacation it isn’t.

Things that I have to do are many. Taking care of taxes and all of the duties that life has us taking care of so we can continue to participate in society.

The thing that I need to do is figure out how to structure my life in such a way that I can live my life untied to the requirements of others. This is a huge challenge because I have been pretty much living according to the morays “I think others require of me.” I’m quite sure, nobody actually requires anything from me. It is a mental challenge above all.

The freedom I seek does require management skills. In order for me to actually be free it means that I have to organize my matters in such a way so that this is afforded me. It is all about setting up things in such a way so that it is possible for things to occur. This takes a lot of work, but it is work worth doing.

But of all the things that pass through my mind, the one primary idea is that waiting is not a virtue. Being proactive and scheduling life so that everything gets done ahead of time is probably the most freeing activity one can have. Having things hanging over you is awful.

Although I don’t expect anything in return from others when I do things for them, I do feel a huge amount of indebtedness to those who I feel I owe something, even if they don’t require that of me either. Being “beholding” to others is something I absolutely hate.

So without being specific about all of the things I am working on my mind is very restless. Writing helps that quite a bit.

I have been working on this website to get it working right and being secure and there are a lot of things I want to do with it, but that too takes some doing. But, I like it because it is a representation of me and I have full control over it.

People may or may not like parts of what I am doing, but that is to be expected. We live in the age where a computer is necessary for our success. So I am trying to embrace it. It is a project worth doing.

Also, I am determined to get my next book written and one that I hope is accompanied by the use of that book in my own life because I really believe it is the key to a successful life.

Well, that is it for today!


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