So, out of a feeling of guilt and with a bit of fear I am going to broach the topic of gender identity.
First off, let me just say that my issue is actually only about the use of pronouns. I have been speaking English for 62 years now and over the entire course of history, the pronouns used for people in English have been very consistent. Changing the language makes no sense to me at all. Other languages have multiple "genders" in their languages all used in different ways grammatically to clarify what is being talked about. In German the moon is masculine, and the sun is feminine. Along with that goes the completely illogical identification of something as being masculine, feminine, or neutral. Then, on top of that, you use the different cases, to determine what function it has in the sentence, noun, direct object, or indirect object. This is all a grammatical issue.
Having recently sort of gone off on a little tirade about the absurdity of using grammatical terms to define people's gender preference and to alter the rules of language for those who seem to demand it out of something entirely unrelated to grammar just makes no sense to me. My view is the grammar of using plural terms for a single person in the English language is just wrong. That's it. That is my entire problem with it.
I consider everyone human and I don't really care what 'kind' of person you are in terms of sexuality. I respect everyone's right to be who they want to be. In fact, I never think about it when I meet someone. I never think about people's sexuality. It doesn't occur to me. On top of that let it be said that these politicians passing laws oppressing people is not only morally wrong but it is also unconstitutional.
I'll admit I am ignorant of the entire issue of gender identity. When you are in school and growing up I think it is quite natural to ask questions about your own sexuality. For myself, I really only asked the question because it became an issue and it had a bit to do with teasing. For sure, I was no brute when I was a kid. I matured slowly and late I think. My personal experience was I was always attracted to girls but couldn't imagine a girl being attracted to me. So, I wondered if there was something wrong with me, but I just brushed it off mostly. I was never drawn to another boy at all. That certainly never entered my mind.
I am actually not entirely certain that the gender discussion has anything to do with who you are attracted to, but rather more about what you see yourself as being. I still don't understand that part of the equation...but I don't have to. It isn't something I am involved in.
So, upon reflection after my little tirade, I became upset with myself because suddenly I realized "It is about them" and not about "My" feelings on the subject no matter what they may be. So, if I can make people feel better by using a plural pronoun then is it so hard to do? No, it isn't. One problem I have is knowing when someone wants that. I can't generally tell because it isn't something I think about. I'm not thrilled at the fact that some get all bent out of shape when I make mistakes, it isn't as if I do it on purpose, after all, I've been speaking this way for 62 years. It is difficult to change especially if you aren't aware of what someone is or isn't.
"It's about them..." It is called compassion and understanding. As a compassionate person, I feel it is part of my moral character to give room for others to be who they are. It is really none of my business after all. So, If I can serve another person's needs in this way I will.
But, I must say that it goes both ways. People who want to be identified in that way must also understand that using plural pronouns for an individual is difficult and confusing for most people. I'm doubting I would require it of anyone.
So, when considering this issue I think it is important to separate the defining areas of gender in our lives because I consider what is causing a lot of the confusion is the various ways the word gender is used.
- First, at least the way I learned biology, we are "Genetic" beings. We have "Genes" that make us who we are. We are all biologically the result of our DNA. So, in order to reproduce another human being, and basically every other living thing on earth, it takes a male and a female. A male has a certain genetic set of physical characteristics and a female have a different genetic set of physical characteristics. So, when talking about the physical science of the human organism we refer to a certain type of person as genetically female or male.
- When animals are born they have a certain set of chromosomes, genes, that determine the development of the body into either a female or a male, which are specifically designed for the purpose of further reproduction of the species.
- None of that is anything but fact. Now, are some humans born with different types of genetic structures, I don't know, I would assume it happens.
- Then you have the grammatical use of genders which I mentioned before.
- Then there is the psychological use of genders which gives us a way to explain it. I don't know how else to describe it.
- Having been in the arts I have been surrounded by all kinds of people and many, in fact during some periods of my life, most of my friends were gay. I would have conversations about it and one of my friends said that he considered himself a male, and so it is with women I would assume.
- Today, there is the whole issue of "Gender Identity" which evidently is you don't "feel like" or you simply aren't in alignment, male or female, with your body. It is as if they have been captured in the wrong body. But, as I said, I don't know much about it.
- The political use of genders is now becoming evident. Political movements are all chiming in on this topic as if that politics could ever offer a solution to this issue. Politicians are making "Gender Decisions" part of the platform designed to get people elected. The "Left" or "Liberals" feel this way, and the "Right" or the "Conservatives" naturally MUST be the polar opposite. The fact is, the nation isn't as divided as everyone would have you believe.
Politicians are trying to solve an issue with politics that can only be solved with love. Politicians are using the issue to get voted into office. They will keep it a hot topic as long as it serves them.
The bottom line however is that it doesn't matter if I understand it, agree with it, or am against it...because it isn't about me. I'm fine and I am grateful I haven't had these issues in my life because I know it can't be easy. So, it makes no sense for me or anyone to do anything but act in loving support of what they want or need because as civilized and cultured human beings we care about others more than we think about ourselves.
In life, I think a good analogy for the correct way to handle topics is to look at it as a traffic accident...I can be right, I can think I'm right, and I can prove I'm right under the law, but the fact is, I can avoid an accident when I can sacrifice my being right for the peace and tranquility of not having an accident.
Finally, to finish off this topic for now...Is this really that important to most of us to have this be as dramatic as it is today? I doubt it.
To be finished later...I'm very sleepy.
Timothy Simpson