When I Come Back Home To Kentucky I Feel Timelessness

I needed a change. A change from my solitary life on the 7th floor of my apartment house in Germany. I need to recharge my batteries, do some good for my folks and get myself together again. When I come back home to Kentucky I usually have to get back to Germany soon, but this time is different. This time I am staying a while, not leaving again on a jet plane, not knowing when I’ll be back again. This time it is like returning to my youth and yet I have the years of experience behind me and the uncertain future ahead of me, and tha8t is nothing new, my future has always been uncertain. So, there is a feeling of timelessness for me, here, now when all of my life seems but a vague mirage in my mind’s eye.

I  am different than I was the first time I came back home to Kentucky.

When I returned from Germany and came back home to Kentucky the first time, I rode in at the youthful age of 28 years old, having successfully survived my first year of professional singing. I had no idea how to appreciate my situation because it had all evolved so naturally somehow. Now, I realize what an accomplishment that in itself was. But, back then I returned pretty much the same Tim as the one who had left for grad school 4 years earlier. It was the last summer before I started trying to have a life, which basically was the biggest mistake of my life, thinking I didn’t have one already.

Now I return a different person. I have different ideas about everything, spirituality, religion, politics, marriage, sexuality and artistically. I have learned an immense amount and have been exposed to things I would never have experienced had I stayed in Kentucky.

Coming back home to Kentucky for really the first time in almost 30 years, gives me a chance to be with my parents and help them out, to be with my brother and his family more. It gives me a chance to see some other folks who I dearly love and haven’t gotten to see over the years.

Today I woke up at 5, did some business, emptied the dishwasher and made coffee, worked on EN some and then got up to meet the day. I went to the church to practice and had lunch with the conductor of a concert I will be doing. Then returned to the church to practice and used the Sanctuary at church fo my practice space. Which is good because it needst to be played.

….to be continued….I am falling asleep!