Peak Experiences in life are rare to most people and it always is created by intense effort.

My father’s PhD in Education Psychology often gave me clues about some things in life that I discovered I wanted. Peak experiences is one thing I always sought, but did not really know what that meant.

Back before I had any peak experiences I thought they were some sort of spiritual realization coming from an epiphany of some kind, ordained by some divine philanthropist.  I thought that by standing on a hilltop and looking to the sunset that this would be described as a peak experience.

But, when I started having peak experiences I realized that they only come when you are so totally involved with performing a specific action that the harmony between body, mind and spirit culminate in a supreme time warping kind of super human coordination of abilities.

You get lost in your activity and it feels like some magical hand is using you from some remotely controlled location. In essence, you can do no wrong.

How do you get into a state of peak experience?

To me, a peak experience can only come during moments of high exertion.  It is the point beyond rationality, beyond any conscious striving. It is when you surrender to your involvement and let go of all inhibitions.

Peak experience is the moment of ultimate trust in yourself.  It is like driving a car as fast as it can go downhill with no brakes and knowing that your naturally given gear shifter will guide you safely to the destination.

I think it has to do with what I call ”winning.”  Yes, that means being #1. It means running faster, jumping higher, performing better than anyone else around. Yes it is about measuring yourself against others and being competitive. It is about not giving up and giving the last ounce of effort.

Winning isn’t easy, if it was everybody would do it.

Lets be honest. Does jogging get you a peak experience. Well, maybe if you jog for a very long time. But, sprinting gives you a peak experience. I call it the difference between waiting for the bus and running after it.

When you ride the bus, you notice something that happens just about every time. When people have been waiting at the bus stop, they get on and are just sort of relieved that the bus finally arrived. But, when you see someone who has run to catch the bus, they get on and almost every time get on the bus huffing and puffing but smiling.

This short burst of effort takes them from being dull into being excited and their face shows it.

I think a lot about the word success. It bothers me. It bothers me because it is sort of like a little house with a white picket fence. Success is the championship for the common man. Somehow it gets on my nerves and I think the reason it does is because it is sort of this generic word for ”making it” in our society.

Success moves me NADA. I could care less about success to be honest. In fact the word bores me.

What is exciting? What makes me happy? What turns me on? What gives me a peak experience?

Winning. Performing at a very high level. Sprinting, jumping, diving, acting, racing, expressing, contacting, and getting all hot, sweaty and lathered up in a, give it all, I am going to be the best, way of living.

I have to say, that I am not sure you can have a true peak experience without extreme physical exertion. It is difficult for me to imagine having a peak experience with anything on the computer or on the internet. Blogging, marketing and whatever else I doubt will give me a peak experience.

So, how am I going to have a peak experiences from now on in my life if I don’t get back on stage, if I don’t run races if I don’t climb mountains. Winning is not something that happens in the comfort of your living room. Sex is probably the only peak experience you can have at home, and it may be the only place many people ever experience it, and this is not about orgasm, but about physically letting go of yourself.

A couple of days I thought about winning. I thought about coming in first in a contest. The result is, it made me want to do it a lot more than just getting average results.

The truth is, I was never drilled to go out and win. I was taught somehow that winning wasn’t important, it is more important to just participate.

Looking back on it all now, my attitudes about winning and doing well in life, I see that this is all wrong. In fact it is disgusting and worse yet, it is irresponsible.

Victory is the only measure in life. Are you always going to win? No. Defeat is pre-ordained, but you can’t let it rest at that. You can’t be okay with losing, because it infects everything you do in life.

The thrill of victory must be more compelling than acting out of a fear to avoid the agony of defeat. So, when people talk about success, I see it as defeat, because you aren’t really winning, you are just not losing. Not losing is like kissing your sister.

To win, you have to be willing to look like a fool, get all sweaty, dirty and slobbery. You have to let go of your inhibitions and let yourself go into the space of total submission to what is in you to do.

Not everyone is going to win all of the time. Not every member of the team can be the superstar. But, what NBA team has players who aren’t trying to be superstars? All of them are. That is why they are in the NBA, the dream of victory and being a superstar, winning, winning and winning takes effort, effort and effort…

…the bottom line is, when you are playing to win, no matter what it is you do, you are happier, more involved and most of all you have a lot more ”peak experiences” than the normal Joe who is just okay with being successful.

I am going to play to win. Do you want to join me?