Lately I have been challenged by the feeling that I don't really 'belong' anywhere and that regardless of where I may go or what I could possibly do would ever give me the since of solidity of place and time that I seem to feel I am missing.
But, whenever I feel this I listen to an Audiobook about Buddhism and it helps me realize that the only thing making me feel uncentered is my lack of accepting, appreciating, and valuing the here and now. The truth is when you don't realize that the here and now is all there can possibly be then life will be an eternal search for a place and time that doesn't and can't exist.
I have to remind myself of this all of the time then there is only one escape hatch out of the ship of frustration to life and that is into the here and now.
There must be some kind of guided meditation for this and if there isn't maybe I'll make one here.
I am not lost. I am where I should be.
I am neither living in the past nor concerned about the future. I am okay right now.
I don't need more than I have. I have enough.
I don't need to be more than I am. I am complete.
I don't need to go anywhere to find home. I am home wherever I am.
If I am to achieve anything more in life it will require a solid foundation under my feet. I can't be running around like a chicken with its head cut off looking for utopia when I am already living in utopia.
"If you search everywhere, yet cannot find what you are seeking, it is because what you seek is already in your possession."
Lao Tzu
Why is this so difficult for me to realize on a daily basis? Why do I have anxiousness in my life? I guess it is the human condition.