Being a full time part of a theater is like being in a big family.

Having worked in German theaters for a long time, you get used to ”going to work” at a theater.  You walk to the stage door, go to the Kantine and get a cup of coffee, go up to the dressing room and get ready for rehearsal.  

Along the way you greet a lot of people on the way, some you know pretty well, and some you just know from seeing them now and again.  As a soloist, most people who work in a theater know you, know your name in just a few weeks of being there. They all know what you do and have ideas about what kind of performer you are or are going to be.  There is a wait and see attitude for a good while until you have done some performances. 

After you get used to the routine in the theater and know some of the people by name you begin to feel like you belong there. After a couple of years it seems like this is a place you could stay. But, the job is only yours as long as the Intendant says, and next year could be your last.  

Theaters become like families, because you can get to know people on a pretty deep level. Not everyone, but, people have a view of you that few others have the opportunity to get because they see you open your heart and soul in rehearsals and in performace. 

There comes the day when that ends. Your last day and you leave that theater and you realize that you are actually leaving a family of people who worked together to make something as rare and fleeting as a performance of opera. You realize that those people you worked with are special, because they have talents and personalities big enough to fill a large space, and the folks behind the scenes work very hard to contribute a good job with what they do.  Even those folks who are less than enthusiastic do the best they can, because what everyone wants in the theater is to be regarded as good at what they do. 

It has been several years since I was the member of an ensemble and I miss it so much. It is such a great thing to be in a theater, rehearsing everyday, doing great music with talented, intelligent and sometimes complicated people. Sometimes, everything outside of the theater seems pointless. 

To be in a choir, in an orchestra, in a band is to belong to a creative company of people who are there for a reason, and that reason is to be able to be as good as they possibly can be. Belonging to others, sharing and working together in harmony, and even argueing about it is part of what being in a family is all about. 

When I go to a movie, watch TV or surf on the internet, I get the feeling that it is very dry.  There is no one around, there is no interaction. It is a cold place, all alone there, everyone is looking at the pictures and not looking at each other. 

The entertainment is short lived, shallow and emotionally charged, but not enduring or deep. How can it be? It is reproduced, edited and sensored. Even reality shows are that way. It is a show about reality, but it isn’t reality. 

Theater is not about reality, but it is actually more authentic than anything on TV, because it is live and honest. 

What is the magic of theater?  It is the magic of moments that surprise you with humor and with profundity. 

I have always known that the suburban domesticated life is not for me. I’m not the guy with two cars in a garage with trimmed shrubs and a picket fence.  I am a theater person, who tours, who does art, and who lives on the edge. Sometimes it is lonely, and I know a rolling stone gathers no moss, but I also am not a log that sits there and gathers moss over the years. 

I have got to get back to the theater.