Friday 4.10.2020 was a good day for Bubber. The process of removing fluid from his body was apparently a complete success. He will come home on Saturday.
He can get up and walk much better than he did because of the water weight loss and he is doing much better but is still quite weak and not very clear in the head.
It is difficult to know what is truth and what is nonsense with Dad. He plays an awful good well person who is still actually very sick. Even though the water loss is great, it is only a symptom, nothing in his body has been changed yet.
He will be home until early Wednesday morning, 4.15.2020, when we will bring him for the actual procedure. After that his recovery will take longer, with a short stay at rehab. But, this procedure makes an immediate effect on his condition. He will feel a lot better after this valve is placed.
Of course there is a certain level of risk involved, but the doctors seem confident that the procedure will be a success.
When he gets home he will get your cards and letters and although he shouldn’t talk much, he will be able to talk to people on the phone.
During these 4 days, it is critical that we keep the water off his body, which means a strict diet, and the necessary medication to aide in that. I have no idea how this is going to go. We will be having help come in to take his vitals and such. He has to have oxygen, so that will be a new thing in the Simpson house this week as they brought the device yesterday and instructed me how to use it. It is actually pretty simple.
Mark is more of a pro at this than I am. He has been through the wringer several times. He is a much better person to be around Dad than I am. It is best when I let Mark do the bedside manner bit. My bedside manner is more like a drill sergeant because I am trying to figure out what is real and not real about what he says. I have no experience in mental health and I am certainly not completely stable myself. Caring for Dad is something like being those gutter guide rails on a bowling alley that keeps the ball out of gutter for when kids play. You sort of have to let the ball roll however it will and keep the whole thing from going in the gutter.
I have such admiration for people who do elderly care or any kind of extended period care. Although it is nice that people take care of their family members, I sometime question the practice. I am a hack at this, an amateur, and a have no experience with dealing with this level of care. I consider it malpractice to entrust someone like me with the care of someone in my father’s condition. But, that is what we do: experiment.
There is a level of paranoia that comes into play in his mind. Although he appreciates help, he doesn’t completely trust it either. Which may or may not be right. I don’t know. But, it is apparent that the mind is very powerful in it’s ability to confuse itself. It thinks up false narratives, it conjures up odd hallucinations. The healthier Dad is, the more daunting this “Merry Go Round” gets. It usually takes me 3 hours to recover from dealing with Dad’s mental acrobatics and by that time I am already feeling guilty about being away from him, so basically, this is dominating my existence 24/7, and I know I am not alone in this. I just worry about my sanity, because when red is green, and purple is pink, and black is white, I start to wonder if it is me that is nuts, and it probably is me. One thing is for sure, nothing is his fault, or the sickness’s fault, but usually someone else’s fault, meaning it is my fault, because I am the one he is looking at.
However, we live in a great situation here in Bowling Green. We have a very good hospital with competent and caring people, everything is 5 minutes away from our house, Dad has good insurance, and although our house isn’t handicapped ready, except for the strong bars in the bathrooms, it isn’t very big so the distances are small and his bathroom is literally 2 steps from the bed and it is a one story ranch house.
Right now the flowers and trees are blooming. Mom loved Dogwood trees so we have several in the yard blooming, both pink and white. The azaleas are blooming brilliant red and white, and there are some little purple flowers on the lawn. The weather has been beautiful for the most part and the grass is beginning to grow very fast.
So until the middle of the night tomorrow, Gute Nacht!
Timothy Simpson
"Being creative is enough."